Eulogy – The Movie

By Greg

Two-Year Anniversary

I’m publishing this post on 23 December 2022, exactly two years from when Trenna passed away.

I debated with myself whether to put anything on the site to commemorate the specific day, but then recalled an idea I have been meaning to get around to for a long time.

The Eulogies

A “Celebration of Trenna’s Life” was held on Friday 15 January 2021. I gave the main eulogy but I also asked Trenna’s sister Nancy, and Trenna’s friend Helen to talk.

All three eulogies in written form are already on this website. They start here.

However, Helen’s, husband Reuven videoed the eulogies on Helen’s phone. With Nancy and Helen’s approval I am publishing them below.

I want to again thank Helen and Nancy. It is tough to talk at a funeral, but also an honour. I thought they both did a great job, and they both followed the time restriction (well nearly) I imposed on them. Thank you both.

Thank you again, too, to our friend Nick who did a great job as MC, another hard gig. Nick also read out a poem sent from Sydney by our niece, Bec (Barb’s oldest daughter).

The Movie…

I was going to edit the 4 video clips into one longer one, hence the name of the post, but I’ve decided that it is probably more useful to have them seperate.

There are four clips as there was a brief break in the recording of my contribution, so mine is in two parts.

I am pleased to be able to present here the four videos from the Celebration.

Greg’s Contributions

In the brief missing section I said

"If you got a greeting card from her you can be sure that it was bought from the shop after considerable thought about what YOU would think about it.  What she wrote in it was REALLY carefully considered, it would have taken AT LEAST half an hour to compose just the right words for YOU, and she would have done multiple drafts.  

Some text messages she sent took 30 or more minutes to compile.  This wasn’t because she couldn’t see well, it was because she REALLY CARED about what she sent YOU.

If you had a phone call with Trenna, she would keep a record of it, because what you said was important to her, and also it allowed her to think about if there was some other way she could help you.

If you were a guest at our house, for whatever reason, she would KNOCK HERSELF OUT, to make sure that your needs were met, and that you felt as comfortable as possible, she did it because she REALLY CARED.

Now, here are a few other insights, in no particular order, into this wonderful, and multi-facetted woman:

•	She was keenly interested in politics and current affairs, especially during the Keating era, and she despaired for the nation through the whole of the John Howard era.

•	She was a fabulous and very knowledgeable gardener, and for quite a few years Trenna and I on the weekends would get up early and garden ALL day, right up to sunset stopping only for a brief Lunch and morning and afternoon tea – and we loved it.

•	Trenna LOVED reading.  To get into uni she studied English and English Literature.  She loved well written novels, and at times would read the same phrase over and over again, marvelling over how well crafted the words had been.

•	She liked Earl Grey Tea – but ONLY in the afternoon.

•	In 2016 she was interviewed for the City of South Perth Local Oral History Collection – mainly about her time in Craig House.  She also recorded several hours of tales of her childhood and youth which I’ll finish transcribing and release on the internet...."

And now, Part 2…

Nancy’s

Just a quick note before you watch Nancy’s contribution.

There is something in it that needs clarification, and it is ENTIRELY my fault.

In the eulogy Nancy tells the story of when she accompanied Trenna and me to the doctor’s surgery in October 2019. We left Nancy in the waiting room and spoke to our GP for an hour and 10 minutes.

Trenna was pressing Cherry to give her a better understanding of her prognosis. As we would expect Cherry did this with professionalism and compassion. She didn’t paint a very rosey future for Trenna, and as it turned out it was fairly accurate.

Nancy asked about it in the car on the way home and I knew that Trenna wouldn’t want to worry Nancy any more than she already was. So I flippantly said “She said “I wouldn’t buy any long playing records if I was you””. It was a joke I had got out of a Reader’s Digest, probably in the very early 1970s.

Unfortunately, neither Trenna or I realised that I hadn’t made it clear enough that I was making light of the situation. That was my fault, not Nancy’s.

After the eulogies were over I found Cherry, who was at the Celebration and told her what had happened. She replied “I didn’t think that sounded like something I would say”.

As you might expect, I have apologised to both Nancy and to Cherry.

Helen’s

And Bec’s Poem

Our niece wasn’t able to get to Perth for the Celebration because of Covid travel restrictions. So, she wrote and sent a poem, which Nick the MC read out. Thank you Bec.

Unfortunately it wasn’t recorded.

Trenna’s farewell 15/01/2021 from niece Rebecca
My aunty Trenna was only 14 years older than me, so growing up she was like a cool, older sister that I looked up to. I loved her wittiness, her independence, and her fearlessness.

As I grew older, I also came to understand the illness Trenna was born with and would have to endure her whole life. Her life inspired me because she did not shy away from living and from the risks that fully living involves - and this has always greatly encouraged me to be brave in my own life.

I will miss Trenna and I will always remember her as full of life and love and courage.

To end I’d like to share a short poem I wrote called Dragonfly in memory of Trenna.
 
Dragonfly
In memory of Trenna Mahney (nee Seckington)
 
She was a light,
even as her body was fading.
 
She took what life there was
and
harnessed it –
like a magician
or a survivor.
 
She never let her illness destroy her –
though it broke her open
again and again
and she changed.
 
Always she’d return to us –
witty and chatty
though with a sweetness now –
and an openness,
where heart to heart
became our conversation.
 
There is a space now
Where Trenna used to be –
 
A missing presence.
 
She left us,
quietly –
faded into the dusk,
the stars not yet visible.
 
When I think of her now
I imagine her lithe and free,
a dragonfly –
wings dipped in light
darting and dancing across endless skies.
 
​​​​​​-  Rebecca Aukim

And… The Slide Show

As an extra bonus, below are the photos that were projected during the whole Celebration.

At the event they were in a random order, and we’re NOT put to music. Throughout the Celebration we played The Soundtrack of Trenna’s Life.

For this post I have set it to some stock music from the Windows Photos app.