By Greg
My four-part series on The Earliest Days of Trenna AND Greg received a lot of positive feedback, so I thought I would follow it up with the tale of how we got engaged and then married. Well, actually it didn’t really get much feedback, but I liked it, so wanted to tell the rest of the story.
You can also read a little about it in the post The Newlywed Diary.
There are tales to tell in between when we first met and when we married, but for now, I’ll be taking you down the aisle – well, not quite….
A Birthday Dinner
It was September 1989 and I had invited Trenna to Irvine’s Restaurant in Irvine Street, Peppermint Grove to celebrate her 32nd birthday. We had been there at least once before and as expected it was a very nice meal and Trenna’s company was delightful.
At the time we had been together for a bit over 20 months and had lived together in Kensington most of that time. I don’t think we had ever talked about getting married, it just wasn’t on our radar. Also, at this stage Trenna was still thinking that she was likely to die in the next couple of years. (She had revealed this startling news during our first date – see the story HERE.)
But the idea of marriage had occurred to me, and I had it in the back of my mind that I might just start that particular conversation, if the mood seemed right, at the birthday dinner. I wasn’t sure I would because it didn’t seem to be a priority for Trenna and although I had no doubt about her love for me I wasn’t entirely sure she ever wanted to get married.
But the restaurant lights were dim, the food was delicious and we had made plenty of progress on a bottle of Moondah Brook Chenin Blanc. So I was as surprised as anyone when I leaned across the table, looked into her large brown eyes and said “will you marry me?”.
A very big smile came over her whole face as she said “of course I will”.
I was over the moon!
“I don’t have a ring, I just thought … I’d ask you”.
“That’s OK, I’m glad you did ask me.” Big beaming smile continues. “When should we do it?” she asked.
“Well, as soon as possible I suppose”. I think we both had in mind that we didn’t know how long Trenna would be around, and we really didn’t have any time to waste.
“Well, like next week?” she asked.
“Could be, yeah”, I replied, then “do you know what you have to do, you know, how you go about it?”
“I haven’t got a clue” she confessed.
I don’t think we did any more wedding planning that night, although we probably practiced for the honeymoon.
Wedding Preparations
Over the next few days we did talk more and we learnt that we first had to lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage and then had to wait “a month and a day”. We also had to decide what to do about inviting guests to the wedding.
We really didn’t have much money in those days so an expensive wedding was out of the question. I suspect that my parents would have been prepared to contribute a good sum to a wedding but neither Trenna or I wanted to impose upon them, and we certainly didn’t want them having a say in how we planned our wedding.
Trenna and I had a big circle of friends, and many relatives so we started to worry about the expense of a wedding breakfast.
“Well, let’s not invite anyone. Let’s just go to the Registry Office and get married” suggested Trenna.
“Umm. Except Mum and Dad will kill us.”
“Yes, so will the sisters, and Jan and Linda and Sue”.
“Well if your sisters are there I have to invite my brothers and sisters or we’ll never hear the end of it”.
“Ummm?” said Trenna.
“Ummm?” said Greg.
Need to Know
I don’t think we used these words, but we agreed we would tell people of our engagement on a ‘need to know’ basis.
We quickly decided we would invite my Mum and Dad, Trenna’s two sisters (her brother was overseas) and one spouse, my two brothers and two sisters and their partners (as it turned out two of my siblings and 3 of their spouses weren’t able to attend at such short notice), Trenna’s friends Sue, Jan and Linda and their husbands and Trenna’s oldest niece – who we said was a ‘representative’ of the other nephews and nieces – there were still a couple of upset nieces who thought it wasn’t fair that they weren’t invited.
Deliberations Over the Date – NOT
The Perth Registry Office in 1989 was in an office block on the corner of Irwin Street and St Georges Terrace in Perth. We went there on Friday 22 September to lodge the Notice of Intended Marriage and to find out how to book a marriage ceremony at the Registry.
The staff were very helpful and when they asked when we wanted to get married we looked at each other. We hadn’t picked a specific date.
“Ehh? A month and a day from now?”
“That will be Monday 23 October. What time would you like?” asked the staff member.
Trenna looked at me to see if I had any time in particular in mind. I didn’t. “What about just before lunch, then we can go out to lunch together” she asked.
“Good idea. You can get married at 11:30am if you like?”
“Why not” we said.
The cost for all the paperwork, and for the marriage ceremony was $75.
We’ll be Business Men
We descended the lift from the Registry Office to the ground floor foyer and were recomposing ourselves after arranging a good portion of our wedding.
Then Tren, the blinder of the two of us, and by far the most observant said “Hey, there’s a restaurant here”. Sure enough there was a quite classy looking restaurant there, and by the door a sign advertising their “Businessman’s Lunch”.
In 1989 in Perth the economy was bubbling along nicely and “Businessman’s Lunches” were quite popular and often were known to be boozy affairs that would last for hours. This restaurant, The Irwin, was offering a choice of two entrees, choice of about six main courses, two different deserts, tea and coffee, and as much beer and quality wine as you could drink. All this for about $33 per head.
We had never been there, but it looked nice and we booked it on the spot. This wedding planning malarkey was proving to be pretty easy.
Rings
Next we walked the five or so minutes into the heart of the city and called into Mazzucchelli’s Jewellers. We asked for a couple of wedding rings and they started asking about our budget and what we had in mind?
More puzzled looks from Trenna and I. We hadn’t thought of a budget and had no preconceived notions of the rings we might like.
Nevertheless, before long we had chosen a simple band for me, with two diagonal strips, one of white gold and the other of rose gold. For Trenna we chose a thin band because her Marfan finger was so long and thin, so to make it more interesting it had an engraved pattern on it.
Before long we had paid a deposit to have the rings custom made to our size and were out of there.
A Little More Planning
We never had printed wedding invitations. We just told the people who were invited the time and date. In fact, I think in the case of my brothers and sisters we just asked my parents to contact them and invite them.
So well inside 2 weeks we had our wedding organised, and it was done with pretty much no stress. To our mind the only loose end was a honeymoon, and we already knew that we couldn’t afford one, anyway.
As a compromise we decided to book one night in the cheapest room in Perth’s flashest hotel. The Parmelia Hilton.
Of course, there was a little more to do. Trenna went shopping, probably during her lunch hour, and bought a Fletcher Jones pleated skirt that was white with small pale yellow dots on it, and a matching top. Also, a pair of white heels.
I don’t recall whether I already owned a business suit – I think I may have bought my first suit for the wedding. It was an Yves Saint Laurent suit, but it absolutely, definitely, was on special as I didn’t spend a great deal on it. Having said that, it was a nice suit.
Wedding Day
Just through circumstance, it was a spring wedding, and Perth’s weather did not disappoint. Monday 23 October 1989 was a cloudless day with a predicted maximum temperature of 26o C. We had spent the previous night together as usual at our Kensington home so that is where we both got dressed and ready.
On the previous Saturday Trenna had visited her usual hairdresser, Titian, who had braided Tren’s long hair in a sort of inside out, cylindrical braid.
Mid morning our friends Jan and Neale arrived, took a few photos of us inside and outside the house and then gave us a lift to the Perth Registry Office. We didn’t know what to expect but had seen plenty of 1930s, 40s and 50s movies where the actors get married in the registry office – it always just looked like an office.
The Ceremony
As it turns out it was a large, airy space with nice furniture and plenty of native Australian Wildflowers to give it a celebratory feel. Everyone gathered in the room, and a well dressed, bearded man introduced himself as The Registrar.
He made sure we understood that marriage was a solemn undertaking and then launched into the rest of the ceremony. Trenna and I didn’t have our own vows so just agreed with those that he got us to repeat.
Before long it was over and my Mum and Dad were signing the Marriage Certificate as witnesses. There were a few more photos, hugs, handshakes and congratulations. We weren’t hurried out of the room, but before long we were all piling into the lifts for the 30 second ride to the Wedding Reception.
Wedding Banquet
The Irwin Restaurant did a fantastic job. They told us that despite their location, this was the very first wedding they had done. The Chef had made special heart shaped chocolates for Trenna and I which they presented to us with a bouquet of flowers. There were also extra tables for wedding gifts and for the cake.
A beautiful and elegant, one tier wedding cake was made and decorated by my younger sister, Debra. We were disappointed but understanding that she was unable to attend.
The multiple offerings in the Businessman’s Lunch menu meant that everyone was happy with what they ordered, and it was all prepared beautifully. The bottled wine was good quality and flowed very freely. As it turned out, a little too good, and a little too freely for my own good.
Towards the end Trenna and I unwrapped a few of the gifts, before deciding to leave the rest. Somewhere around that time I also thought it would be a good idea to buy a round of ports for everyone to cap off a delightful and very merry meal.
Around about 4 pm I staggered towards the maître d’ and offered them my Diners Club Credit Card. The bill was $614 which I magnanimously rounded up to $630 for 17 people.
The Parmelia Hilton and the Pilots Dispute
After more handshakes and hugs Trenna and I piled into a taxi for the 1,100 metre ride to the Parmelia Hilton Hotel.
Whilst you are mentally taking that trip along the office blocks of St Georges Terrace in Perth let me introduce you to the great Australian pilot’s dispute. Wikipedia describes it as “one of the most expensive and dramatic industrial disputes in Australia’s history“. And that was exactly as I recall it.
The bitter dispute meant that there was virtually no tourism in or out of Perth, but as we had no money to go interstate it wasn’t someting on our mind as we entered the foyer of the Parmelia.
They say that your blood alcohol level tends to rise for about two hours after alcohol consumption so the 2 minute drive up the Terrace wasn’t really enough time for me to sober up.
Trenna took control and politely told reception that we had a reservation in the name of Mahney.
“Heyyy! Weejus got married!’ I slurred with a big smile on my mouth. It was either a smile or some other uncontrolled facial expression.
“What, you just got married, today?” asked the staff member.
“Yerrrp!” Stupid grin from me.
“Excuse my husband. Yes we were married this morning, we’ve just come from the reception”.
“Well, I might be able to upgrade you. Because of the pilots’ dispute we’ve got quite a few rooms vacant.
A Suite the Size of Our House
Yes, we were upgraded to a suite the size of our house (we have extended the house twice over the years, but in 1989 it was a very small house). I literally mean, it was the size of our house!
And because it was now a honeymoon suite we had a bottle of Champaign, a Champaign breakfast and a late checkout. The downside was, I really wasn’t in much of a state to take advantage of it.
I remember ordering a Lobster Bisque for dinner through room service and not being able to finish it. And I have a number of photos from the the honeymoon suite so I obviously stayed awake for a while.
Talking to Trenna in later years she wasn’t very upset that I had over imbibed at the wedding. We were just glad we had such a wonderful, memorable and stress free celebration.
The Honeymoon
From the Parmelia, we went home, repacked, and spent a few days at my Mum and Dad’s holiday home in the nearby, seaside town of Mandurah. This time we had Prickles the dog with us.
After three nights there we again packed up but this time we travelled another hour or so to Charlie’s Flat – a campsite, in the bush near Dwellingup. Here we pitched our tiny tent under some jarrah and marri trees just a few meters from the river. It was very tranquil.
We were here because our group of friends (none of whom were invited to the wedding) had decided some weeks earlier to go camping in the bush to drink beer, stare at the campfire and to tell stories we had all heard before – usually because we were in them. We had committed to going even before we knew we were getting married.
Several of the group who turned up in the ensuing hours were married, and we, or at least I had been invited to their elaborate weddings. We were a little anxious about what their reaction would be.
As it turned out, although there was some feigned offense and plenty of light hearted ribbing our decision on how to get married was supported and congratulated. I remember a fun camping weekend.
A Rose By Any Other Name
I have mentioned, marriage hadn’t been very high on the agendas of either Trenna or me, but once I was married I started to get a warm romantic feel about the whole thing. I loved being married. This feeling started almost as soon as the hangover from the wedding cleared and it lasted, pretty much for the next 31 years.
It seems that something similar overcame Trenna. She was a strong feminist, and was determined to keep her Family name, Seckington. I told her I was entirely comfortable with that idea. But, just days after the wedding she told me that she was going to change her name to Mahney, she wanted the same surname as me.
In the years that followed that wonderful spring day in 1989 Trenna and I were often bemused by people’s elaborate, expensive and highly stressful wedding preparations. Some of them sucking friends and family into a huge Wedding Stress Vortex.
Of course, we always accepted that people could do whatever they chose in the way of weddings. It was just that ours was so enjoyable.
And our marriage, the important part, was sublime.
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One reply on “Engagement and Wedding”
Your wedding plans prove you don’t need a lot of hoo haa to have a great celebration and what a bonus to get the Parmelia Suite ❤️